Health

All aspects of health, including Mental, Physical, Emotional, Social and Environmental.

What is Love?

Published on by Jim

“Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside.” – Margaret Walker

My take on love comes from watching what is actually happening inside the body when we are experiencing the sensation known as love.  This is something that anyone can observe or directly experience if they just take the time to watch.  I come at this topic first from a detached, precise perspective, and second from an attached perspective as a human who wants to expand love.  To embrace the whole reality of love one embraces both the detached and attached perspective, giving both their due.

Love is a feeling we have inside of our body and is a reaction to thoughts.

Generally, we learn how to love from our parents or whoever nurtures or takes care of us when we are infants.  As this person comforts us, say by feeding us relieving our discomfort of hunger, we learn to associate the image or thought of this person with that comforting, and we develop a habit of relaxing around the thoughts of this person.  Relaxing is not just a physical thing, or just something we do with the muscles of the body, it is also something that we do with the nerves.

Therefore, love is a two-part process; the first is the thoughts and the second is the reaction of relaxing the nerves and the muscles around that thought.

In the beginning, our thoughts are associated with some material things like the person who nurtures or takes care of us, as we mature, our thoughts can be associated with anything, even a concept. As children our experience of love comes from thoughts of people or things that produce the good feelings

This practice or habit of relaxing is healthy in that it removes the ‘dis-ease’ we may be experiencing when we hold onto some thought or habitual tension in our body.  This is why spiritual teachings encourage us to love this or that so that we can develop a habit or skill of relaxing around our thoughts of various things that traditionally would have produces tension or ‘dis-ease’ within us.

We call these traditions ‘spiritual’ because they address what we are inspired or motivated to do; the word ‘spirit’ has the same root as the word ‘inspire’.  We are naturally motivated to seek the release of tension the same way that water is naturally motivated to flow downhill.

Therefore, when any tradition encourages us to practice love or any positive emotion, they are encouraging us to practice relaxing around our thoughts.

Some thoughts we have we have developed a habit of contracting around, and we call this fear.  A spiritual tradition might say that “love drives out fear,” for if we practice love (relaxing/expanding) around a fear producing thought we will eventually re-train ourselves to react by relaxing to that thought and thus relieve the tension, dis-ease or negativity we had experienced.

Learning to love is like learning to control our bowels and bladder; it takes practice at first but later becomes natural.

As I said above, the first part of learning to love is the thought, which is why there is no much emphasis on thinking about this process.  This can come in the form of a spiritual or religious tradition, which tries to get us to think in ways that allow us to relax around thoughts that traditionally produce contraction or fear.  Such a way of thinking might be to “love your enemies” since the idea of an enemy is of one who seeks to do us harm, we would naturally develop a habit of contraction or fear associated with ‘enemy.’  Since mostly the reality is we are just thinking about our enemies and not actually being injured by them, then we are being taught to love the thought of our enemies or to relax around the thought of those who have or might hurt us.

Once we get that love is healthy and what we want to experience it more, then we recognize that ANY thought we have we want to develop a habit of relaxing around.  We then will no longer need to discern between this or that type of thought, we just relax around all thoughts.  Hence, we will no longer need the philosophies or theologies and we can go back to being innocent “like the children to enter the kingdom of heaven.”  This enables what we call “unconditional love”, for we choose to love without conditions or criteria since we recognize that love is what we want to experience.

This is the objected behind the teachings to “love God,” where God is a concept that implies the creator of all that is.  We are practicing to love ALL that is, since it was created by this creator.  At an even higher level, we are encouraged to love the process of love, where “God is love” and we are taught to love God/love.  This moves us away from any mental activity that may be a limitation to our practice of relaxing and we practice loving the process itself.

Much of the ‘how to love’ teachings are about the science AND art of love.  The science deals with the understanding of how the human instrument works; how to relax both the nerves and muscles of the body.  The art deals with developing the sensitivity and the skill or habit of actually operating the human instrument.

I am currently writing a book that will detail my observation on both the science and the art of loving, particularly loving ourselves.  To keep informed on this book please subscribe to this blog.

 

Understanding

Published on by Jim

I have had a long-standing interest in understanding how this human instrument works.  This interest is not limited to the physical or medical functions but also the neurological, psychological, mental and emotional aspects of the human instrument.  My interest leads me to watch my body, my mind, my emotions, and myself as I go through life.  I particularly watch when I practice various spiritual disciplines or think various ways, to see the effect on the quality of life that these disciplines and ways of thinking have and WHY they produce those effects.

In my practice of watching myself and of watching others I have seen some very interesting aspects of human consciousness that when I try to share that with others I usually only get resistance.  Of course, this in itself interested me, for I wanted to know why there would be resistance to understanding ourselves.

I have seen that this resistance comes from the ego, a mechanism within the human instrument dedicated to survival of the human instrument.  It is imagined that if we understand ourselves then we will no longer treasure the human instrument as mysteriousness or ‘special’.  However, this is not true, for understanding only enhances the appreciation.  It is superstition that creates the fear of understanding.

Dangerous Pixels

Published on by Jim

Are people so stupid as to think that pixels on their computer screen can hurt them?  Really?  Do people really want to give their power and peace away to anyone who comes along and says something to them?  Really?

Pixels are defined as “A minute area of illumination on a display screen, one of many from which an image is composed.”

I am constantly getting people who seem so unconscious as to think that the arrangement of pixels on their computer screen is hurting them, and the one who arranged those pixels are their screen is the evil one who is abusing them.

Can people really be THAT stupid or unconscious?  Cannot people see that pixels do not hurt them, it is their reactions to those pixels can cause them harm?

I know many college educated people who actually think that pixels can harm them.  That is about as silly as thinking that their shadow can attack them and hurt them.

I am well aware that these people have just been programmed to brutalize themselves emotionally when stimulated by words.  This was to the advantage of the ruling classes, the parents, teachers, clergy, government, etc.  I was programmed the same way, but I noticed that I was my own worst enemy, I was the only one abusing me and I took responsibility for that behavior and worked to stop it.  Today, I feel free from that self-abusive behavior.

Part of that process of getting free from this programming is to be brutally honest with our self and admit the truth, that pixels (or words) cannot hurt us, it is our reactions that cause us harm.

All the spiritual traditions out there that I have studied are about teaching people how to relax around the thoughts that come into their mind.  Even psychotherapy is about this in its primitive way.  Meditation is the practice of just watching those thoughts and learning to let go of the reaction and relax around them.

Smart people seek out this training or discipline and they seek opportunities to practice.  Stupid people just blame the computer or the person who arranged pixels on their screen that they took offense at, or they end relationships blaming the other for pushing their buttons.

I am here to serve people, people who want to wake up, be empowered over their inner world and their inner peace.

I like the example of both the one called Buddha and the one called Christ who said and practiced that we should focus our attention on those who have ears to hear and let the dead bury the dead.  That means to serve those who actively want what I am offering and to let the others just go.

If someone wants to learn how to relax or meditate then I will teach them that, IF they ask.  I am here only to serve those who want to find that inner peace, peace WITH the world.  But, if they are seeking peace IN the world then it is best to get away from me, for I will only piss them off and expose the hell they create for themselves.

I admit that it is hard for me to stop caring about people who are obviously hurting, and that is what is required of me.  So at times, I will reach out to the hurting one, the one who in their confusion thinks that I am the one hurting them, and I will make an effort to awaken them from the nightmare they are imposing upon themselves by their beliefs.  However, if they just run away then that is OK by me, for I would rather spend my time on the living than on the dead (those dead unto themselves).

Fear or Love of Ourselves

Published on by Jim

I wonder how many people realize they are afraid of themselves, they are afraid of how they will react to what people say to them or what life offers them.  I see this as one of the biggest problem we human have; fear of themselves.  The solution to this problem, of course, is to practice loving yourself, particularly when you are being most abusive to yourself.  And we are being abusive to ourselves when we take offense at someone or are being angry or pessimistic.  It takes consciousness and practice to change a behavior that is not really serving us, like the behavior of abusing ourselves.  However, the effort is worth it…YOU are worth it.

Loving ourselves is not easy, particularly if we have been taught to hate and abuse ourselves.  Most people have been taught that there is something wrong with them, that they are lacking something or that they are sinners or some other nonsense.  People tell us that because THEY want us to be something other than we are or THEY want to use us in some way.

As children we are gullible and believe what we are told, we believe we are flawed or lacking or sinners.  However, as adults, we can question the ideas, and if we do, we will find that they are nonsense, assuming of course that we truly question them.

So let us say that we have questioned those judgments of us and found that the criteria for them were faulty, based upon faulty assumptions.  So what do we do now to stop abusing ourselves and start loving ourselves?

How Do We Start Loving Ourselves?

Conceptually this is easy but the practice of this takes concentration, awareness and dedication, for all your life you have develop certain habits and those habits are deeply engrained, it will take some work to retrain yourself to healthier, more loving habits.

I like to use an arithmetic like scale to visualize the process.  On the left side of the scale are the negative numbers, in this case the negative experiences.  In the middle is zero or neutral experiences and on the right side are the positive numbers or positive experiences.  The further from center one goes the larger the absolute value of the number and the greater the intensity of the experience.

We all want positive life experiences and at least we are open to neutral experiences like peace and contentment.  So we naturally have a desire to move to the right on this scale, from the negative to the positive or from the more negative to the less negative or from neutral to the positive or from the less positive to the more positive.

So how do we go from the negative to the positive?  First off, we look at WHY something is experienced as negative and this will tell us a lot about how to go from negative to positive.

If we watch ourselves closely when we are experience some intensely negative experience, say fear, we will notice that we are uptight and/or contracted.  Our mind is very narrow-minded focused and contracted too.

And if we were to observe ourselves when we are feeling great we would notice that our body is relaxed and feels expanded; and our mind is expanded, embracing the big picture of life.

Therefore, from this we realize that to move from the negative/contracted state to the positive/expanded state is to change the focus of our mind and to make an effort to relax the body.

I will talk more about how to do this later, but here I want to say that in essence it take consciousness of when we are tense, uptight and narrow-mindedly focused usually on ourselves or our interests and see how this behavior is not pleasant but is actually abusive to ourselves.  The more we do this the more we will fear ourselves.

We can start making a choice now; start to move away from this habit and towards a more loving behavior toward ourselves.

The choice is ours and the power to choose comes with practice.

Closed-Mindedness

Published on by Jim

I recognize that, at times, I am closed-minded and I recognize that we all are closed-minded at times. It is natural for a person to resist change or new ideas or new ways of thinking.

Recognizing this but not wanting to close myself off to something new that might improve the quality of my life experience, I decided to look at closed mindedness and how to overcome that handicap.

So how do I ensure that I do not be closed-minded? I cannot.

What I can do it to make myself comfortable with listening to what others have to say, and I can develop a habit of not reacting while they are telling me what they think will benefit me. I can also encourage people to recognize that we all are closed-minded and I can ask them to keep trying even if I do not seem to be receptive at first.

One thing I never want to do is to take offense at anything anyone offers me, for that is a sure sign I am closed-minded.

How can I help others I see who are being themselves and closing themselves off to anything the universe is offering them? I am not sure that I can, except to do what I have just done and write about, hoping that others will recognize this trait within themselves. I also will make every effort to break through someone’s closed mindedness that I feel I can. My friends will recognize this as a loving effort to serve them. Those who are not part of my ‘tribe’ will probably take offense at this effort and there is a very good chance they will ‘un-friend’ me in one form or another.

When does being persistent become pestering someone? That is relative and only each one of us can define that for ourselves. I find that the more closed-minded a person is the more they will perceive ANY intrusion as pestering. Yet, I also find that the more open minded a person is they will be willing to at least listen fully to what you are offering and you will feel complete in your offering even if they do not find what you are offering as valuable to them at this time.

Why are some people more closed-minded than others are? I find that if a person has developed a habit of abusing themselves emotionally and blaming others for that abuse. So they will naturally be afraid of THEMSELVES and their own reactions to what others share with them, so they will not want to hear what others have to say, at least not if those others think outside of the narrow boxes in their mind.

Not all allowing others to share with us is about us. Sometimes people just need to share or even vent, so allowing them to do that with you is an act of compassion or love. In addition, of course, compassion and love are good for you.

Feedback

Published on by Jim

I want to thank those who have been so generous with their feedback, criticism, judgment and even persecutions of me.  These greatest of all possible gifts are been very good for me.  I recognize that no feedback, criticism, judgment or persecution can harm me, only my reactions can do me harm.  However, they can point out to me how my reaction to them might be doing myself harm.

To be honest I have not always enjoyed and love these challenges.  I am now.  This morning I woke up and realized again the gift that this feedback, criticism, judgment or persecution is to me.  I am grateful for all those who questioned my integrality, honesty, sincerity, empathy or compassion.

I recognize that what I want is a beautiful life filled with appreciation, joy and love.  In addition, I recognize that the measure I give is the measure I receive, so when I am appreciating, enjoying and loving what life is offering me then my life is filled with the light of that appreciation, joy and love.

It is easy to love those who love me; even the dualists can do that.  Nevertheless, there is so much greater spiritual benefit or profit to be able to love those who criticize, judge and persecute me.  Moreover, to me there can be no greater gift than this feedback.

I do hope that all will continue to give me their light, insight, wisdoms, criticism, judgment and even persecutions.  For I recognize that I am forever falling asleep and this feedback is what can help awaken me from that sleep.  Should I take offense, resist or defend my “self” then I know that I have again fallen asleep.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

Unnecessary Suffering

Published on by Jim

  I am sad to see people abusing themselves emotionally just over something someone said to them.  It is a sad world that programs us to abuse ourselves just so others can control and manipulate us.  I am glad I took the time and effort to overcome the world’s ability to stimulate my self-abusive behavior.  I would really like to find a way to share this ability/skill with others.

We can all overcome the world’s ability to stimulate our self-abusive behavior IF we are willing to take the time and effort to develop the skills necessary.

It is obvious that the skill of controlling our bowels and bladder improves our life experience, for we no longer need to wear diapers.  Nevertheless, most people have no idea that they can learn to control their emotional self-abusive behavior with just a little awareness and effort.  Anger, fear, guilt, shame, doubt, pessimism and all forms of negative or unattractive emotional and mental states and with consciousness we can choose to experience these or not. We can also choose happiness, joy, love, peace, freedom and we can choose to see beauty in all that life offers.

However, all this takes skill and practice just as it took awareness and effort to develop the skills of walking, controlling our bowels and bladder, riding a bike, driving a car or most anything else.

The greatest gift we can give others or ourselves is our UNCONDITIONAL happiness, joy, love, peace and freedom.

I am God

Published on by Jim

I love life and all that it has to offer.  Nothing is impossible to me.  I love judgment and criticism.  I love to judge and be judged.  Judgment cannot hurt me it can only awaken me should I fall asleep.  I love to push buttons and I love to have people try to push my buttons.  If I react with less than love then I am asleep and it is only an opportunity to wake up, or, I can choose to stay asleep. 

The worldly will tell me I am not God.  I only smile, for their darkness has no power over me.  I have overcome the world and its ability to darken my light.  And I love the worldly as they try to bring their darkness upon.    I can choose to stay in the darkness and sleep or I can wake up to the light. If I submit to darkness it only means it is time for me to sleep.

Does God sleep?  God does EVERYTHING for everything is God.  God is in everything and everything is in God.  There is only one, separation is only an illusion.

Does God change?  God changes and does not change.  God is inclusive of change and is outside of change. 

Why be God?  God is love and God loves.  Who does not want to love all that life has to offer?  Who does not want to enjoy all that life has to offer?  Yes, there are those who are too afraid to love all, so their fear will dictate to them that they do not want to be God, to be love and to love.  They are just those who are still in the darkness and asleep.  As the light starts to shine on them they will start to awaken and want to be awakened.  As those of us who have awaken to who we really are start to shine our light then those in the darkness, those who are asleep will start to yearn for the more light and to be the light. 

We can all be the light of the world.  We can all be God.  To the awakened there are no limits, all is possible. 

The Value of Sloth & Apathy

Published on by Jim

When I think of sloth I am reminded of something that Jesus said, “Come unto me all ye who labor and are heavy burdened and I shall give you rest” (Matt 11:29). Then I think about the “Protestant Work Ethic and how Protestant Christianity teaches people to work harder and be slaves who are “good servants to their masters” (Paul’s language). Christians are taught to believe, obey and submit to the ruling classes. Yet this is NOT what Jesus taught or did…it was NOT Jesus’ way or truth.
Sloth is called one of the Seven Deadly Sins and is defined at disinclination toward work or effort. I don’t remember any stories of Jesus or Siddhartha (Buddha) working really hard.

If you were an owner of slaves would you want somebody like Jesus to hang around your slaves or would you rather have somebody like Paul who would teach them to be good servants to their masters? It does not take a genius to see that Paul and his minions (Christians) would be more valuable to the slave owners than Jesus and other Christs.

Apathy is defined as a lack of feeling, emotion, interest or concern. It can also be seen and detachment, being above the world, contentment, equanimity, indifference and peace.
If people want peace then they have to let go of caring, quit storing your treasures here on earth where anything can attack them. This means not caring even out your “self”, your body, mind and/or soul.
This does not mean that you NEVER care or have emotion, feeling, interest or concern, only that when you are tired and need rest that you stop caring while you rest. This is like breathing in and breathing out, both are necessary for you to be healthy, both have their time.

10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy

Published on by Jim

by Jen Angel
http://www.yesmagazine.org/article.asp?ID=3022#2

In the last few years, psychologists and researchers have been digging up hard data on a question previously left to philosophers: What makes us happy? Researchers like the father-son team Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener, Stanford psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, and ethicist Stephen Post have studied people all over the world to find out how things like money, attitude, culture, memory, health, altruism, and our day-to-day habits affect our well-being. The emerging field of positive psychology is bursting with new findings that suggest your actions can have a significant effect on your happiness and satisfaction with life. Here are 10 scientifically proven strategies for getting happy.

1) Savor Everyday Moments

Pause now and then to smell a rose or watch children at play. Study participants who took time to “savor” ordinary events that they normally hurried through, or to think back on pleasant moments from their day, “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression,” says psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky.

2) Avoid Comparisons

While keeping up with the Joneses is part of American culture, comparing ourselves with others can be damaging to happiness and self-esteem. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, focusing on our own personal achievement leads to greater satisfaction, according to Lyubomirsky.

3) Put Money Low on the List

People who put money high on their priority list are more at risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, according to researchers Tim Kasser and Richard Ryan. Their findings hold true across nations and cultures. “The more we seek satisfactions in material goods, the less we find them there,” Ryan says. “The satisfaction has a short half-life—it’s very fleeting.” Money-seekers also score lower on tests of vitality and self-actualization.

4) Have Meaningful Goals

“People who strive for something significant, whether it’s learning a new craft or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations,” say Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener. “As humans, we actually require a sense of meaning to thrive.” Harvard’s resident happiness professor, Tal Ben-Shahar, agrees, “Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning. Whether at work or at home, the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable.”

5) Take Initiative at Work

How happy you are at work depends in part on how much initiative you take. Researcher Amy Wrzesniewski says that when we express creativity, help others, suggest improvements, or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.

6) Make Friends, Treasure Family

Happier people tend to have good families, friends, and supportive relationships, say Diener and Biswas-Diener. But it’s not enough to be the life of the party if you’re surrounded by shallow acquaintances. “We don’t just need relationships, we need close ones” that involve understanding and caring.

7) Smile Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

It sounds simple, but it works. “Happy people…see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savor the high points,” say Diener and Biswas-Diener. Even if you weren’t born looking at the glass as half-full, with practice, a positive outlook can become a habit.

8) Say Thank You Like You Mean It

People who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to make progress toward achieving personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons. Research by Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology, revealed that people who write “gratitude letters” to someone who made a difference in their lives score higher on happiness, and lower on depression—and the effect lasts for weeks.

9) Get Out and Exercise

A Duke University study shows that exercise may be just as effective as drugs in treating depression, without all the side effects and expense. Other research shows that in addition to health benefits, regular exercise offers a sense of accomplishment and opportunity for social interaction, releases feel-good endorphins, and boosts self-esteem.

10) Give It Away, Give It Away Now!

Make altruism and giving part of your life, and be purposeful about it. Researcher Stephen Post says helping a neighbor, volunteering, or donating goods and services results in a “helper’s high,” and you get more health benefits than you would from exercise or quitting smoking. Listening to a friend, passing on your skills, celebrating others’ successes, and forgiveness also contribute to happiness, he says. Researcher Elizabeth Dunn found that those who spend money on others reported much greater happiness than those who spend it on themselves.